I don't know what i am feeling now. it's like a worst thing that have happened. now i'm trying to make me happy, as usual, maybe with i write this blog will release my pain although its only such a bit. until now, i feel like i still can't adapt with the other friends, except my forda(forum daerah)'s friends. maybe you have your best friend on the high school, me too. but, until now, i still can't find it at the college. maybe that is one of my reason why i always go to the somewhere at this second largest metropolitan alone. so, the best way that i share my stories are in the sholat, i pray to Allah SWT, cried alone, and i don't want to share it to my mom, because once I had an injury, and directly i told my mom, and then it make her sad. i don't want to make her sad again. so, the order from my forda's friend, Alif said that if something happen, tell me or your friend first. ;") and i obey his message. coz I think that is true. so, I usually told on of my friends too, Ridho, coz we had been 3 years at the same class and now we are at the same college. and he is quite and kind person, and one day, he had love one girl, that is my junior high school's friend, and he promises that he won't dating with anyone else, until he finishes his study and propose her. It's a sweet niat I thought with his age that still at 18 years old. but, the reality is he has dating with someone else. so he has disobey his promise. I'm fine because that is his life, not my life, that he will carry his responsibility that he had promised not to 'pacaran'. and that time, I have promised too with myself what he said( not to 'pacaran'), because I think if he can, i can do it too.
but if something happened to me, i still told to him. sometime if i get bored, i comment his photo profil, wkwkw as a joke. he always displays his photo with his girlfriend. and someday, the message from his contact is controlled by his girlfriend. wkwkwk and once, i had a conflict with her. it's really really funny I thought. It's like a sitkom "Suami-suami Takut Istri". from her text and her action to take over her boyfriend, i meant she is very possesive girl. The second, that I had conflict with her, was Ridho said good morning to me, I don't know, that is his girlfriend or himself that sent its message, and because i've just follow a girl that he was loved, and she follow back me on Instagram, so I sent him that girl's photo with the caption 'Good morning too Ridho!'. and that reaction is like his girlfriend's reaction, and apparently it's true. waow wkwkw I just make a fire. wkwkw and that is too far the fire be the woodpile. and in the end of his chat is very make me sad, that message is please don't chat, talk, and everything to me again. it's really really bad, he is one of my best friend I think, but he said to me that I am not his friend, especially his best friend. just like a child, very childish. I told the childish is to me even him. it's really funny I think. ok, that's fine. may this is my fault because I'm very 'jahil'. but, I never think that he will react so angry and said like that. because as usual, i joke him too and he is never be angry. Maybe this is like an 'alay' story, but for me as an individualist person, this is not a funny or alay story. but, i won't give up with this situation. maybe now I thankful to Allah SWT, because in my free time i always waste that with reading the book, although that is not a history or psychology book, but my subject book that soon will be the last evaluating test for this semester. Maybe because of my individualistic, once I had gone to a psycholog because something had make me very sad that i can't control myself again. but i never told it to my mom too.
but if something happened to me, i still told to him. sometime if i get bored, i comment his photo profil, wkwkw as a joke. he always displays his photo with his girlfriend. and someday, the message from his contact is controlled by his girlfriend. wkwkwk and once, i had a conflict with her. it's really really funny I thought. It's like a sitkom "Suami-suami Takut Istri". from her text and her action to take over her boyfriend, i meant she is very possesive girl. The second, that I had conflict with her, was Ridho said good morning to me, I don't know, that is his girlfriend or himself that sent its message, and because i've just follow a girl that he was loved, and she follow back me on Instagram, so I sent him that girl's photo with the caption 'Good morning too Ridho!'. and that reaction is like his girlfriend's reaction, and apparently it's true. waow wkwkw I just make a fire. wkwkw and that is too far the fire be the woodpile. and in the end of his chat is very make me sad, that message is please don't chat, talk, and everything to me again. it's really really bad, he is one of my best friend I think, but he said to me that I am not his friend, especially his best friend. just like a child, very childish. I told the childish is to me even him. it's really funny I think. ok, that's fine. may this is my fault because I'm very 'jahil'. but, I never think that he will react so angry and said like that. because as usual, i joke him too and he is never be angry. Maybe this is like an 'alay' story, but for me as an individualist person, this is not a funny or alay story. but, i won't give up with this situation. maybe now I thankful to Allah SWT, because in my free time i always waste that with reading the book, although that is not a history or psychology book, but my subject book that soon will be the last evaluating test for this semester. Maybe because of my individualistic, once I had gone to a psycholog because something had make me very sad that i can't control myself again. but i never told it to my mom too.
second in this week that make me again feel the sadness is, one day i browsed the anime film, and now it's playing at CGV, but i directly think that one of my friends that is like anime is Daffa, so I invite him to watch it together with his brother who had holiday here, but not only them, the fact that i had invited some of my friends, but they are in a busy and the others think that the ticket is too expensive. and I invite him not as someone that i like or want to be like as my "boyfriend", but as a brother because he is too young like my real brother who had born at 2000. and today Daffa want to talk to me about something that he doesn't want to talk at the chat. I have feeling something bad, and again, that is true. he thinks that is very contradictive with him that don't want to be have some relationship too, but, it's not like the usual. as before i always invite him too to go to somewhere, maybe to eat lontong balap or go to jl. semarang to buy a book, but maybe that is my mistake too, because yesterday I invited to unusual place, I'm very sorry if i have made some of my friend got angry again with me. but it's fine again, i know his purpose. and I think it is good to me because unexpressly and undirectly Allah SWT has reminded me because what had I do is really my fault. Alhamdulillah.
from this case, so it had reminded me to the boys that I have rejected or not pay attention to his message, because i think that is waste my time and i don't like too with some greeting or like the others girl's like if some boys greeting or 'memperhatikan dengan cara menggombal or else' them from the chat or anything else. I don't like it. and some boys like that i think that is so disgusted. maybe that is like Daffa felt yesterday, and I respect it.
I think now my feeling is better than before. thank you because have read this rubbish story until the end. maybe you can take an implicit message from my story above. some structure from this story is much a fault, but i think that is fine because my first tryout to write at english version, not use translate-an :3.
The End.
